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wishingwell44 Day 15: Talk about why you participated in Snowflake and/or what you got out of it.
Thinking about this prompt, I kept going back to the phrase In and of Itself. It technically has no direct definition and I guess it kind of sums up to mean alone, considering it alone, and by itself .
I think why I keep coming back to that phrase because I wanted to get out of that mold of being alone, considering (myself) alone, and by myself. I tend to "lurk" more online and shy away from conversations because they're difficult for me. Talking to people I don't know, freely, still to this day, is a huge roadblock and hypes up my social anxiety out the wazoo. I participated because I wanted to break that mold. Let my voice be heard and not let as though I'm just sitting behind my computer. I want to be active in fandom, and sometimes...I'm just not.
This challenge was fun, and poked at my brain to make more coherent sentences as I tried to explain things. I think I got a better understanding of where I put myself in fandom, how I look at fandom on a grand scale, and it helped push me to make comments and talk to other people.
Am I still going to be anxious as fuck to post a comment on someone else's' journal, fic, (fan)art? Absolutely. But maybe the driving force of reducing my social anxiety is to experience commenting on someone else's journal, fic, (fan)art, etc. so I could become more active online.
So - maybe by the end, the idiom In and of Itself became as though that we were together and alone in this wide world of fandom, and not just feeling as though I am sitting in a dark room with no one else to talk to.
Thanks for the prompts, Snowflake Challenge!
Thinking about this prompt, I kept going back to the phrase In and of Itself. It technically has no direct definition and I guess it kind of sums up to mean alone, considering it alone, and by itself .
I think why I keep coming back to that phrase because I wanted to get out of that mold of being alone, considering (myself) alone, and by myself. I tend to "lurk" more online and shy away from conversations because they're difficult for me. Talking to people I don't know, freely, still to this day, is a huge roadblock and hypes up my social anxiety out the wazoo. I participated because I wanted to break that mold. Let my voice be heard and not let as though I'm just sitting behind my computer. I want to be active in fandom, and sometimes...I'm just not.
This challenge was fun, and poked at my brain to make more coherent sentences as I tried to explain things. I think I got a better understanding of where I put myself in fandom, how I look at fandom on a grand scale, and it helped push me to make comments and talk to other people.
Am I still going to be anxious as fuck to post a comment on someone else's' journal, fic, (fan)art? Absolutely. But maybe the driving force of reducing my social anxiety is to experience commenting on someone else's journal, fic, (fan)art, etc. so I could become more active online.
So - maybe by the end, the idiom In and of Itself became as though that we were together and alone in this wide world of fandom, and not just feeling as though I am sitting in a dark room with no one else to talk to.
Thanks for the prompts, Snowflake Challenge!
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Date: 2019-01-15 11:50 pm (UTC)fwiw , all the creators I know (myself included) love a comment <3
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Date: 2019-01-16 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-16 03:38 am (UTC)